A Tretise on Amber Volakis

My friend Carrie and I, last night, were currently embroiled in an epic (epic) text-message conversation about this David Shore interview and the titles of the rest of this season's episodes. Or rather, that is how it started. It swiftly made a change when I got on the subject (as I often do) about Amber, and her relationship with Wilson, and the ineffective plot device of the recent House/Wilson/Amber "triangle", if you will.

I am the first to concede that the arc with Wilson dating Amber could have been absolutely brilliant from the get-go. Moving from my reading of the "new" ducklings as aspects of House's personality, Amber fits right in; she basically is House in heels and a skirt, a counterpart to Cuddy's version of "tough woman" politics in a male-dominated field, and serves as a balance to Cameron and 13 as the other major women in the competition-cum-House's life. I really liked Amber as a character. As a person, I thought she was underhanded, cutthroat, and winner-take-all, but that was what I, as a viewer, was meant to see in her. She was meant to get on my nerves at times and for that she was absolutely stellar. I respected Amber. I wouldn't want to have beers with her or watch American Idol while sharing a plate of nachos, but she was well-written and well-done.

My problem with Wilson and Amber as a couple, and indeed the entire plot with Wilson and Amber as a couple, is what it's done to Amber as a strong personality. I no longer can look her in the eye and see the Cutthroat Bitch because, from the minute she started crying at the end of her swan song episode, she was no longer the Cutthroat Bitch. Even if she was upset, even if she thought she deserved it, it felt massively out of character for her to cry in front of anyone, up to and including the patient. Another friend once described Amber as "calculating", and I think that's the perfect word for her; no one that calculating and manipulative would have broken down in front of these people she is trying to impress and win over the way she did.

I could have lived with that, but frankly, nothing's been improved with the advent of Wilson's dating game. I wish I had "Don't Ever Change" on my harddrive to watch again, so I could lay out all my issues as well as I'd like to, but to me, the most telling moment was when she arrived home in Wilson's McGill sweatshirt. Now, I understand wearing your boyfriend's shirt; I've been guilty of it. I understand comfortable clothes. But Wilson is at least three sizes bigger than Amber, and for her to leave the house in his clothes? From the woman who is always perfectly put-up with neat hair, makeup, jewelry, et cetera? Completely wrong for the character. If she'd been home and lounging around, I would happily take that. But for her to arrive from being out dressed like that is completely contrary to everything we'd seen of her so far. I am not necessarily saying that people who look nice for work are incapable of wearing crappy clothes outside of the house on other days, but frankly, there is so much of Amber's personality up to that point that is against the very notion of her leaving home like that that I cannot process the sudden "cutesy" and "I belong to Wilson" image that is her in that too-big sweatshirt. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but when she arrives to House's office later to confront him, she's wearing nice clothes again. Clearly, she does think about what she wears even when her dress doesn't necessarily effect what happens to her. (Meaning that she could have worn junk clothes to House's office and it wouldn't have mattered; she was already fired.) So why that time?

More than that, the whole "love versus respect" thing? No. Not only was it cliched and possibly some of the purplest prose in the show (again, I wish I had the episode), but it was just wrong for Amber. When have we ever seen her care a mite about love? When has she ever cared about being accepted or part of something? She's a self-serving bitch who wants to be on top. That's why the character was a fan-favorite. That's why people were sad to see her go. She never made any pretense about being more or less than that, and it completely cuts apart her character to suddenly make her craving love as much (or more) than she does respect. Show us some inkling of her having that as part of her personality. Drop us a line about it! But of course, they never did, because it wasn't there.

I realize that the strike rushed and changed some elements of the storylines that were meant to weave together for Season 4 - we were knocked down to a sixteen-episode season, for god's sake - but the fact is that, by making Amber the flavor-of-Wilson's-week, the writers ruined Amber. Using her as a device for delving into House and Wilson's relationship and looking at how Wilson, at base, does crave someone with House's personality traits? Brilliant. But I saw very little of House in the Amber we met in "Don't Ever Change". Instead, I saw someone who was just like Wilson's wives, and that's something we know he does not need or want. Why not keep her as she was? Why not press Amber as the bitch and have Wilson really adore her despite that?

But no. He meets her crying, he comforts her, and it's just another tooth in the gear called "Wilson's vicious cycle." There will never be any real future with Amber because Amber is no longer the kind of woman Wilson truly craves - self-actualized, confident, honest, ballsy. Instead, she's a shell of that woman, and frankly, unless dating Wilson is a ploy to get back at House, I don't see any way of salvaging her character.

It's sort of ironic that she features so heavily in "Don't Ever Change." The character who changes most is not House, or Wilson, but her.